Disappearing Act...

I recently had the pleasure of dating a guy who appeared to have his life together, who appeared to be mature, who appeared to know what he wanted out of life and who appeared to know where he was headed...appearances can be deceiving. This guy, as it turns out, was actually a boy masquerading as a grown man, pretty convincingly I might add! Up until the point that he just fell off the face of the earth, a behavior I refer to as the "disappearing act".

You may be asking yourself...what happened to Mr. Wonderful? Honestly, I am still asking myself the exact same thing! Things were going great. Things were going really, really great. We seemed to click, we got along well, we were making plans, we were seeing each other frequently and we were talking daily. Then one day he just disappeared.

Based on this act of bad behavior I would assume this guy is functioning at a 16, maybe 17 year old level. You can talk until you're blue in the face about how mature you are, how respectful you are, how considerate you are....but talk is cheap and pulling the disappearing act on a girl that you've been dating for a month sends the message that not only are you not mature, you are also not capable of respectful nor considerate behavior. It also sends the message that she meant nothing to you...that she meant so little to you that you couldn't even tell her that you were no longer interested. The truth hurts so this isn't always easy to do...but you know what hurts worse? Not knowing. Wondering what happened. Wondering what went wrong. Which often leads to overanalysis, self-doubt, a feeling of insecurity and worst of all, a lack of closure. Girls like closure!

Now, I was unaware that this practice was still in existence and, quite frankly, shocked that people still find it acceptable to behave this way. I think if you are old enough to date, then you are old enough to tell someone "I'm not interested"...it's really that simple. Pulling the disappearing act is rude, immature, disrespectful and it's really just bad behavior. Why would anyone think that this was acceptable?!

A Long Story.....

Since I don't want to waste anymore time on Mr. Wonderful than I already have, I'm going to sum up what went down....

He wore the same size jeans as me. (this is not a good thing)

He wanted things to be easy. (relationships are not easy. This is a fact)

He was high maintenance. (or as he would say "so Orange County")

There were no sparks! (not a good sign)

He pulled a disappearing act. (this is just bad behavior)

*Read in between the lines and I'm sure you can figure out how Mr. Wonderful turned into Mr. Not-So-Wonderful. Oh well...better luck next time!

Mr. Wonderful...

Let's go back in time a few weeks....I had decided that it was time to find myself a little frog to kiss in hopes that he would turn out to be my Prince Charming. Ridiculously optimistic and undeniably hopeful? Of course! But what else would you expect from me?!

It all started with an innocent "wink" and an email - yes, I'm talking about the guy that caught my eye early on! We started emailing back and forth immediately, which quickly progressed into the exchange of phone numbers (oh my!), texting back and forth over the next couple of weeks, and eventually our First Date (how exciting!). Based on our rapid texting before the big date I was expecting things to go well since it appeared that we had a lot in common, including our over-the-top sarcasm and general good sense. I, of course, assumed that we would get along great, and was extremely optimistic about our meeting....but I still had my guard up because this guy seemed a little too good to be true. I met Mr. Wonderful at a coffee shop and we immediately clicked...come to think of it, we never did have any coffee! We chatted for awhile before deciding to go and get something to eat and extend the date awhile longer...I was a fan of this idea immediately! The entire night seemed to go by in what seemed like minutes and the next thing you know I needed to get home to relieve the babysitter, so we said goodbye and agreed to talk soon.

Honestly, it was one of the better First Dates that I've ever had...no awkwardness, no weirdness. It just felt very comfortable and natural right away. I think I could get used to this :)