After witnessing a vast majority of my friends commit to spend their lives with great guys over the last couple of years and noting the differences in each of their relationships I began to wonder about the progression of a relationship and finding "the one". It was at that moment that I decided to do a little research by informally (by which I mean the conversation occurred over cocktails!) interviewing my friends and the men in their lives to gain a little insight. Each couples dating history and engagement could not have been more different...and I was determined to find a common thread!
Couple #1 had a short lived dating history, a quick engagement, and have now been married for almost 2 years...most of which has been happily. She re-tells their dating story like it's a romantic novel where she knew within moments of meeting him that he was "the one", so despite their initial long distance she was not concerned because she knew that she was going to be with him forever. He does not recall their story in quite the same way, instead he says it took him about 6 months of dating to realize that he wanted to be with her forever and proposed shortly after. I wondered how one person could know that their partner was "the one" so quickly and the other took awhile to get there...weren't they in the same relationship?!
Couple #2 dated on and off for a few years; after 4 years together he popped the question and she said "yes!" A year later they were married and continue to live in wedded bliss today. When I asked when they knew that this was "it" I had no idea what to expect from them, I mean, neither one fully committed to the relationship until a few years in. She told me that she knew that he was someone who "would be in (her) life for a long time", she did not say that she felt that he was "the one" but instead someone that she felt would be important in her life for a long time to come after 1 month into their relationship. He told me that he did not know that she was "the one", or anyone that he even considered seriously committing to until 2 years in! I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked and a little appalled at this admission, and quite frankly I had to admire her persistence and patience. If I dated a guy and 2 years in he realized he wanted to commit to a serious relationship with me he would have no one to make that shocking revelation to...because I would not have stuck around that long! I guess what they say is true...when you know, you know. And she, apparently, knew! For 2 people who were on 2 very different paths a few years ago I am happy to see that they have found one common road to travel through life on. :)
Couple #3 is the kind of cheesy, cliche couple that makes you want to puke most of the time that you are in their presence. I love them both, but they are absolutely ridiculous! When I first decided to find out how people felt about the idea of finding "the one", they are the couple I thought of. I thought that they were typical, but really they are quite the exception to the rule. In under 2 years they dated, got engaged, got married, and had a baby..and continue to be the most deliriously happy couple that I have ever met. Sure they have their problems...but who doesn't? They will both tell you (and they will..even if you don't ask) how they met and that they both knew that they were "meant to be" together after a few dates. I found this hard to believe..they didn't even know each others last names and yet were willing to spend the rest of their lives together? But they stand by it...and honestly, it's a little infectious. I spent so much time with them at one point that I began to live in this delusional world that made me believe that I should know almost immediately if someone I was dating was "the one", and if I did not feel that way then it obviously was not meant to be and I should not waste my time. Needless to say, I had numerous extremely short lived relationships during that time in my life!
To my dismay my search for answers ended with more questions. How do you know when you've found "the one"? Is there a such thing as "love at first sight"? And...do people realize that there's a difference in between love and infatuation? Luckily, I did realize that each relationship did have one thing in common...I found the common thread! Each person did, at one point or another, come to the realization that they had found "the one". Although, they all came to that notion at different points in their relationships and not any one of them could pinpoint exactly what it was that made them feel that way, they "just did".
I guess I'll just have to wait and find the answer to this question myself!
