Don't Make Promises....

So, it's been a little while since I provided an update of my dating life and I am fully aware that most of you were rooting for the Cute Boy from the wedding. Let's be honest...we all knew how that was going to turn out. Who do you think was the inspiration for the "unavailable man" blog?

Now, you're all probably wondering what happened with the Cute Boy. He reappeared in my life, said all of the things that I needed to hear and made promises (that it turns out he couldn't keep). In case you are unaware, one of my biggest pet peeves is people that make promises that they can't keep. Just don't make the promise! It's that easy. After his grand re-entrance (apology and all) we talked for a little over a month without seeing each other at all, yes it was kind of long distance, but not far enough away to justify no contact. This in itself was frustrating for me, and as much as I wanted to be understanding, I finally reached a point where this was no longer acceptable. So...what did I decide to do? I began to push him for an explanation! What else would I have done?! I am fully aware of how much men (and people in general) do not like to be pushed or questioned, or anything resembling either of those. But I didn't care, I felt that I deserved an explanation for why he had not made a reasonable effort to see me in over 5 weeks, and why, as the weeks went on he began to get distant again (horrible multi-tasker that he is). Finally, we had dinner and he shared with me that not only did he recently get laid off, but he was living at home (due to his lack of income this was his only option). All of this basically meant that he was absolutely in no place to have a relationship, with me or anyone else. Which makes sense to me. If you're pushing 30, you live at home with your parents, and you are unemployed, then you need to figure some shit out before you commit to be with someone. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. You need to be selfish in this situation and worry about yourself. I, however, am not in that place. I am in the exact opposite place.

Fast forward a bit and currently the Cute Boy and I are friends, we probably always will be and I am okay with that. This is uncharted territory for us. But he is not able nor capable of giving me what I want and I do not feel that I should have to wait for him to sort his shit out. He was holding me hostage in this weird sort of limbo where I couldn't be with him but I couldn't get over him. He was occupying a space in my life that did not allow me to move on. He then finally said the one thing that I had been needing him to say all along "I can't give you what you want right now and it's not fair to you". It wasn't fair to me. I deserved better than that, more than that, I deserved to be with someone that wanted to give me what I wanted and who was capable of it. With that statement he set me free, and allowed me to move on.

So, it's back to the pond to kiss a few more frogs ;)

Next Please!

I realize that you all are probably wondering what happened with the motorcycle guy (aka the attorney)...things seemed like they were going fantastically right?! Well, it turns out that things are not always as they seem, and this is a great example of that. That, and things got really complicated when a certain someone reappeared in my life and turned it upside down again.
On a side note, someone recently mentioned to me that these stories can get pretty confusing for them since I refer to these guys in different descriptions on here than I do in real life...so let me clarify for everyone. The motorcycle guy is the Attorney (and will from now on be referred to as the attorney) and Cute Boy from the wedding is the Firefighter (but I'm still going to refer to him as the Cute Boy)!
Back to the attorney...things were going well, we had hung out a few times and things were going slowly, which is great and exactly what he talked about. Then a certain Cute Boy began texting me again, which at first I thought of merely as a great distraction that was allowing me to take things slowly with the attorney, but began to progress into more than a simple distraction. Why can't I seem to stay away from this boy?! I had a great guy in front of me that wanted to take things slowly in a gradual progression toward a serious relationship, he has a successful career, he is financially independent, he is ready to get married and have a family when he meets the right girl...and yet I find myself constantly drawn back to the Cute Boy that can't seem to offer me those same things, but that I just have an amazing feeling about. So, once I started texting with the Cute Boy again my communcation drastically decreased to the attorney and since I am not one to just disappear on someone after I've had a few dates with them, I decided I needed to let him know what was going on (kind of). We then had the awkward conversation about how he is a perfectly nice guy but he's just not the guy for me, there's not a lot of physical chemistry, blah blah blah, and decided to just be friends. It all ended on a good note and in the end we are still friends! He is an attorney after all, and who couldn't use a little legal advice every now and then ;)