Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Missing Months....in a Nutshell!

I realize that it's been quite some time that I've updated this blog...mostly because I have barely had time to go to the bathroom by myself, let alone actually sit down and write something! And I apologize in advance if this post is too negative for some and does not, unfortunately, include the wittiness that usually seeps from my pores. But to understand where I am now (which is a much better place) you have to revisit the past with me!

 The condensed summary of the last few months looks a little something like this....I found out the hard way that some people just aren't worth waiting for, that the nicest people can turn into the most awful people with absolutely zero notice, that it's hard to find a nice place in San Francisco for a reasonable price, that just because you donated sperm does not make you a parent, and that kids are extremely intuitive and see EVERYTHING!

My daughter & I are living in a small studio apartment in the City (because it was what I could afford) and it works for us, for now. My original attempt to be friends with her dad has turned out to be an unnecessary stress in my life...and, quite honestly, not worth the effort. Especially since she does not appear to be that fond of him either...I know this because when she has to go to his house for any amount of time it usually ends in tears and her begging me not to leave her there. It breaks my heart...a LOT! I am very aware of what I say around her in regards to her dad and am careful with my words...and yet she has come to the realization on her own that he's not that great. I have tried to help him with this and suggest things that she likes, at which point I am usually given the lecture on parenting because he is apparently in a position to give others that lesson :P

I will continue to hope that he realizes what a colossal mistake he is making on a daily basis and take some responsibility...for her sake. Until then I will remain a Single Mom raising my little girl in the City and making a life for us without his help. And, of course, still on my own personal mission to find the man of my dreams :)

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